Veins of Rage.

Fire red rage,
Pours through our veins.
I wish that it didn't,
Have to be this way.

I love you both,
But all three are wrong.
Now we all must,
Sing this unsettling song.

I have a tendency,
To make blood hot.
Anger gripping,
those who feel shot.

Now I'm hoping,
That somehow,
I can fix what I broke.
That I can somehow mend...

The veins of rage,
Pulse pounding,
Heart stopping,
Fear conjuring...

Rage...

No Truer Words Ever Spoken...

I don't know what you see,
But I hope I'm everything,
That you claim me to be.
So I'll write everything...

I can't say when I'm awake,
I'm so sleepy now, you see.
I am so afraid that I will wake,
Just before, I make you see.

This is so like a dream,
What we have, you and me.
Sometimes I want to scream.
"If I wake, simply kill me..."

I don't ever want to wake from you,
You're the one I want.
The one I need.
My sweetest drug.

In half consciousness,
I've come to the realization.
All of my fears are slowly melting away.
So please, don't ever let me wake.

I won't survive if I do.
If I wake, without you...
I'm not sure life would ever seem...
Worth what it is to me now...

I don't know that I'll have that kind of strength.
To exist without you by my side.
You see, when I'm sleepy,
I say things I do mean,
but could never say when fully conscious.

You're my everything.
I want you and only you,
No one else could compare,
To how you make me feel.


Thank you...

Thoughts at Quarter to Five

As I sit here, on my little mountain of pillows in the corner of my room, I close my eyes as I simply let my fingers and mind type and speak as one. I don't stare at the screen. I sit, with my eyes closed. Heh, kinda bad when you can sit like this and completely type as if you were looking at the computer and checking yourself. Yawning I think of how I miss my one. I think of how my thoughts fill with her name, her face. Her compliments, and compassion. I find myself so incredibly thankful and lucky to have her, I don't know what I would be without her. A friend of mine said this is dangerous love, But I don't care. What's life without a few risks. I can't see myself without her, yet I do not let her consume me. My thoughts frequently drift back to her, as I imagine all that we can be. I haven't told my parents that I've fallen for a girl, I wonder what they will say. I just noticed, my custody papers that I just read for the first time a week and a half ago are still on my television. I wonder how my father is, if he's even alive. I wonder if he thinks of me, I wonder if he loved or ever truly wanted me. My grandmother says he loved me, but if he did, wouldn't he have sent me at least 1 birthday card over these last seventeen years? If he walked up to my front door, I don't know whether I would cry and invite him in, or slam the door in his face. I wonder, are my grandfathers happy. If there is an afterlife, are they watching me now? Do they pass judgement upon who I am and what I do? Are they proud? And how is my great grandmother. I was supposed to go see her this past saturday, that plan fell through when my father took ill. Thoughtless again... I notice, how empty my heart does feel. She is gone, has been for about an hour and a half. But I can still see her gorgeous face in my minds eye, like she's right there. I can feel her arms around me, the safety of them bringing me comfort for the first time in years. I laugh, remembering how protective she is, the other day, when she was so upset because of a small fight I got into with my dad. I love her *smile*. I think to my shot, today. I think to the library. I think of how I am quite tired and kind of wish I could sleep.

I think I will try and sleep... Soon....